I’ve got a great life, I am not trying to avoid tomorrow or whatever, but I just really like staying awake when I’m absolutely balls ass tired. It’s kinda addicting, like the sleepier you are, the more insanely good the sleep will be. So I find myself struggling, on purpose, to stay awake. I force myself to read books, or watch shows, or go on Lemmy… and I only just realized it’s because I love feeling sleepy.
So uhh, anyone else got this?
As someone who has a tough time getting to sleep most nights, this actually sounds like hell.
I have a theory. Is there a chance you have ADHD?
There possibly is…
I only say it as someone who likely has ADD myself, who has several family members with ADHD, who all do similar behaviors.
But, I’m glad the question was downvoted by a few in the masses, as if I was making a negative insinuation… Having it isn’t always a con, in some aspects it’s a boon.
Kinda, but for different reasons. I’ve suffered from insomnia for ages, and one of my absolute least favorite things about that is going to bed, then lying there for hours waiting to fall asleep.
So, usually I don’t even bother. I’ll stay up and do something productive or entertaining until I’m about to drop, then finally go to bed and enjoy a relatively small amount of time between my head hitting the pillow and actually falling asleep.
…downside being I gotta wake up for work like 3 hours later, so I’m kinda just chronically tired all the time, but that’s nothing a fuck-ton of caffeine can’t… slightly mitigate.
I definitely don’t get in bed until I am sleepy because I don’t want to get in the habit of laying in bed trying to get sleepy. And yeah laying down so sleepy feels so good, so sleepy that I can try to sort of stay conscious while falling asleep, watch it happen.
Not as extreme, but I get the feeling. The very tired sleep is just crazy good. I don’t stay awake to become extra sleepy, but I stay away, because I realy enjoy that evening hours. Just chilling there and not giving a fuck about anything for a few moments.
I know exactly what you mean.
It’s like sleep is trying to pull you in with whisps of itself like the enticing fingers of a lover. You act coy, trying to keep afloat because the boundary feels… Exquisite. The whisps become more demanding little by little until finally you succumb and let them take you in and it feels like floating though clouds of immaterial boobs.
And then you are asleep.
I’ve done this numerous times, it’s fun to do as a kid. Not recommended as an adult. Arrived to work or important gatherings obviously tired and as expected, turns out for the worst in my end.
I think it is not fear of tomorrow but fear of extinction that causes this. I think it comes from a real, not simply intellectual realisation that life is finite and anything lost now will not come back. An instinctive urge to wring the most out of life as the void closes in. The daily version of not going ‘gentle into that good night’.
A going theory is that you’re overstimulated and your body is starved of rest. You’d need to chill with the social media and electronics, go through withdrawal and then relax for a month or two on an isolated retreat in order to “reset” yourself.
I’d be mindful about being so prescriptive with solutions like that. What works well for you may not work well for someone else. But I do appreciate your input! Maybe try sharing it with more “I statements”?
