Yes. mid-40s, no kids, and I work from home.
Wife and I play RPGs on the weekends (currently enjoying Last Epoch and waiting for the next Warhammer 40k: Rogue Trader DLC), and during the week I usually play single player games (right now in the middle of Lies of P and Fire Emblem: Awakening).
An old generic pocket knife I bought in a mall shop back in 2001.
I don’t have a mental health issue and the thoughts of suicide come from a place of logic.
It may seem that way, but speaking as someone who has suffered a variety of health conditions, as well as anxiety and depression, what seems logical at the moment could very well not be. Your brain can actively work against your best interest in times of extreme stress.
You’re likely in a bad headspace right now, so I’d advise to keep working with your counselor/therapist and discuss this with them.
Also, maybe trite, but things will not always be this bad, but it will if things end for you now. Hang in there if you can. Not judging, I know what it’s like for life to suck so bad you’d rather it be over. I got through that period and I hope you do as well.
If you haven’t already, check out Upgrade, by Blake Crouch. Good book, similar premise.
First playthrough, currently in the tunnels or whatever under the Vegnini (sp?) factory.