Holy misinterpretation batman! Its fine to not want to meet. OP seems to think its rude that someone with a baby can’t just dump them somewhere so they can meet up for adults only coffee. Its the indignation that makes them the asshole.
YTA. People with young kids tend to socialise way less because they dont sleep and its a lot of work. When they do socialise the kids tend to be around because organising childcare is difficult to organise, can be expensive, potentially stressful for the kids. Very frequently the options are take your kids with you to socialise, or dont socialise at all. Its why new parents suddenly start socialising a lot with other parents.
And it might not be as bad as you think, depending on the kids. They may be happy entertaining themselves and sleeping, and you can have a relatively normal time until they wake up and get restless at which point the mum might decide its time for them to leave. Or they could be crying and screaming the whole time.
My wife doesnt like how much noise it makes and says its messy and violent and dangerous to open anything with a gun. We are eating a lot more soup now though.
I don’t know what to do.
Not even a parent, just have friends who are and empathise with their situation.