Omg last night at pool league. 9-ball playoffs. I, possibly the best player on our team, called a timeout to “help” the worst player on our team, and gave solid advice on what shot to take, but failed to understand her skill level and failed to give additional helpful details (like how hard to hit it). She missed the shot and set up her opponent for an easy win and we ultimately lost the tournament by one point. Sigh. Big ole goof and totally my fault.

Steam Deck helps a lot. Kid wants to watch some awful Paw Patrol or whatever before bed? Sure, I can sit down and spend 20 minutes failing to make progress on The Binding of Isaac.

NO SOUP FOR YOU! NEXT!

Yeesh let me know if you find a good answer. My <5 y.o. offspring found an old apple phone in a desk drawer and is begging me to charge it up, calling it “MY phone!” and in general causing me to worry about issues I wanted to avoid for a lot longer. Dreading the next 10 years of this battle.

Buy high. Sell high. Basically be high all the time, especially when doing stock markets.

A bag of cool ranch Doritos.

Haha, your poor teacher is the real victim here.

The initials scratching play was gutsy considering how utterly unnecessary it was.

Circa 1991 I stole my classmate’s pen and he noticed and confronted me immediately. A few kids were circled around, watching it go down. I tried to lie and say it was mine and he said “Oh yeah, what special feature does it have, then?” And I, scrambling, said “It has… purple ink!” That was true, but he was the pen’s true owner and not buying that shit. He snatched it out of my hand and did… something with it that I didn’t quite understand. He slammed the butt end of it down into the palm of his hand and it clicked or something. I dunno. Either way, case closed.

If your name is Corey and you went to Pond Springs Elementary and had Mrs. Olsen as a 5th grade teacher, I’m sorry I tried to steal your pen.

Post it here