Yes. But the part that non-violence allows is that we can set it up to fight on our terms rather than theirs.

They want gun battles. Charging into enemy formations. Units vs units. They want to make themselves heros of battle. But they will do it only if they convince themselves they will always win.

That’s not how the modem organized military can be defeated. They will be defeated by guerilla tactics. Assassinations. Sabotage. Economics. The first thing that needs to happen is for the population to witness just how much they support each other.

The DNC may be useless, but as long as they keep MAGA thinking the opposition is weak, they will massively underestimate their own vulnerability.

Let’s start with the fact that we met at 14. This is important because my attraction to her was because she was (and still is) incredibly hot. 100lbs, hourglass, eyes that made me melt.

Well, all four years of highschool I was tutoring her through her remedial classes. She just barely graduated. As always though, thinking with your dick gets you in trouble.

I helped her start work on a two year degree she had a pell grant and scholarship for - that she couldn’t finish. Which of course she blamed on me because I was “too involved in my own education.”

She questioned the necessity of vaccines for a long time. Thankfully I got her opinion changed before we had a kid.

I remember when we first started dating she told me I “didnt have to be so smarty all the time.” I asked her what she meant and she said “well, have you tried like not thinking or learning everything you want to know?”

I felt bad for her. She couldn’t stand most jobs. I had this feeling I needed to be with her because she really had a dismal future. So I married her. I mean, come on, she’s hot. Maybe she can cook (she couldn’t cook well), or doesn’t mind chores, and she can be a little supportive. Plus, I would make enough that she wouldn’t need to work. And she really wanted to be a stay at home mom. Worked for me.

She couldn’t do the stay at home mom. She hated that “I got to work a job I liked” and she “had to be responsible.”

Fast forward a bit. She gets a job. She messes around with her boss, meets a customer has a “one time thing” with him. I’m crushed beyond belief. COVID comes around. I feel terrible about the potential for divorcing her. We try to work it out, im suspicious about the amount of time she spends with other men, she convinces me I’m too controlling. I discover her sexting nudes n stuff 3 years after the affair and she admits to it being the same guy (who I never found out who it was). She finally gets a job when I decide to divorce, but it comes with no benefits. Because she doesn’t want to work full or part time.

There’s more, but honestly I’m kind of done for now lol.

I could write an entire book on the reasons. The main factor was she cheated on me, wanted to make it work, I believed her, she hid the affair for 3 years (not very well) I discovered it again.

Men can be abused too. Yeah, I’m physically much bigger, but there is absolutely no way to defend yourself without looking like the bad guy, which she was well aware of.

She was also terrible in bed. And unfortunately about as sharp as a bowling ball and a few fries short of a happy meal.

Advice: Don’t marry someone just because they are hot.

I didn’t really think about it before, but yes, the tactile sensation of its smooth but clearly not artificially smooth surface is there. The apple isn’t in one piece like this. It’s fragmented but connected (seemingly like everything else in my memory). When I think of an apple, the shape, the various red shades, surface feel, crispness, smell and flavor of a bite, as well as the visual guidance of a knife to cut into it all manifest at nearly the same time.

And yes, that’s exactly how I would describe it like a framebuffer. Almost as fast too, a single frame where an image of an apple sits on a table then the rest of my processing continues.

For whatever reason, computer science and architecture has helped me explain this as sort of a populated instance of class Apple. This instance sits in hard storage, and retrieves it when I get apple from main memory.

But that’s not just all. Apple is a fruit, so I also get information about the fruit object, and fruits connected to it too, in real time.

I have ADHD, so I know my brain is physically wired differently. I suspect it’s related to the “cobweb” of thoughts that is normally present.

It’s important that you phrase your frustration and anger and sadness entirely on who. This wasn’t women as a whole, this was one woman who stabbed you in the back.

No. PISD.

Post infidelity. It’s traumatic but entirely around a former intimate relationship.

PISD is a normal response to this. It has severe depression, severe impact to self-esteem and general confidence, severe impact to work performance, etc. Etc. it’s a million times worse than.

I’m not saying he’s not a suicide risk. The actual incidence of it is really high. In fact I’m surprised he hadn’t attempted. I had well controlled depression before my spouse’s affair.

There is no medication aside from sedatives that will help OP with this. And sedatives only delay recovery. He’s doing what he needs to, and he’s wondering why people are giving up and leaving him be.

It’s because this shit is that fucking draining. Any LPCC knows they are just as much at risking their licence as any doctor. Saying ‘go see a doc and get meds’ is just as dismissive as his former friends who have given up with him.

Honestly? As long as he’s being honest with a LPCC, he’s doing better than he would be in a hospital here in the US.

Ahhh, that’s the term I forgot. “Love bombing.”

My ex would do these one off things unexpectedly to convince me I was important to her, then coldly ignore me the rest of the time.

Because he’s clearly suffering from PISD. Yes he needs help. He’s seeing a counselor weekly. He’s getting worse with that.

This, what OP is going through ? That’s normal. As my therapist said, she would have been far more worried if I didn’t get the thoughts.

Trauma is way harder to work through, and needs far more delicate care than depression. Depression is a symptom here, and his therapist will tell him to talk to a physician, OR if they determine he’s a risk to himself, they will get him emergency care.

You know, I can’t seem to find it right now.

It was in a paper discussing “Immediate effects of Post-Infidelity-Stress-Disorder”.

I was also given a similar number after my attempt (1/3rd of men)

5 months? Are you kidding me? I’m at 5 years, and it’s still stinging despite intense therapy and medications.

This shit is not quick. It’s grief. His relationship, all that 9 years of marriage, etc. died. He might still need it, sure. But that is not what we’re looking at here.

Bro. I am gonna be real with you.

I was in an abusive relationship too. She cheated on me at 30 and blamed me. I am not going to sugar coat this.

It will fuck you up for a great long while. This all happened to me in 2020. I’ve been through intensive outpatient therapy. I’ve lost 100 lbs.

It still hurts when it comes to me. You are grieving. This ain’t depression. 40% of men who experience an unfaithful long term marriage commit suicide. You are heartbroken. You are realizing this ain’t you.

It will get better. Little by little. And I still have a long ass ways to go. I’m not even officially divorced yet.

I’m not going to give you advice, because the only thing I understand, is that I finally found me again, and I like that dude a hell of a lot more than I like who I was with my ex.

But it’s going to suck the entire time. The entire 5 years has sucked. But I finally see a light. There is a pinprick of light. I’m heading towards it. You can’t see it yet. I understand. But it’s there.

Sorry for the necro on this - but I like to read past threads and see if I pick up new information.

It turns out I can’t see an apple in my mind, not exactly. There is a very brief moment where an apple manifests for like a single frame, but the image is gone the next tick.

I believe this classifies as aphantasia. Interestingly, the “concept” of the apple remains. I can “feel” the entirety of what the apple is, just not see it.

At the same time, when I recall strings of text or numbers it is always a image of when I saw it. I also have an internal monolog that others don’t. Brains am weird man

I get that it’s a bit

But Jesus Christ that’s the kind of good crazy I want in a partner

Oh my god. It’s fucking 1:37am and I’m absolutely losing it over this, Well done Op.

Man I’ll tell you, if sex for rent was a thing, I’ve got a big ass room with a walk in closet and attached bathroom available.

Wait, isn’t that just prostitution with extra complications?

And how, exactly, do you guarantee exclusivity?

The risk just increases with multiple partners, regardless of “exclusivity.”

And no, the second does not get solved by time management and communication - you literally have less time to spend with each wife.

Out of one year, if you have 100 hours to spend, a truly equal amount of time is 50/50. The man gets 100 hours of intimacy, but each wife is starved of those 50 hours. If you increase the amount of time you can spend to 200 hours, then an equal split is now 100/100 and each wife is starved of 100 hours of intimacy. There is no way to prevent this with multiple partners.

Ignoring the sexist reasoning behind polygamy, there are practical ones too.

I have one dick.

Its risky to have sex with multiple partners. The more partners, the more that risk of STIs increases.

The amount of intimacy (not sex, intimacy) a spouse gets with a partner decreases the more spouses one has. At some point “starvation of intimacy” will occur, leading to a breakdown in the relationship.

Edit: I’m sorry y’all. This conversation is gross and full of bigoted male-centric talking points. Polyamory is one thing, but polygamy is fully about the man. If you refuse to see that part, you’re just an asshole trying to justify an ancient means of having power over women.

The revolution will not be televised.

Oh I got one of those too i need the thing that gets me out of the house. Like a thing that makes me leave the house to go do