I’m super glad you get to send a message and change things while people are kidnapped and killed. Thanks for helping.

This one is my favorite so far

The music that plays when Sonic the Hedgehog is drowning. I have never missed an alarm with that sound.

In high school I was run over by a car that I was sitting in. Buddy stopped in a parking lot, I started to get out, then he went forward and my foot was caught under the rear tire. I was pulled out of the car and my leg was run over.

Minor tear in a ligament and have a nice scar, but that’s about it.

Defunctland and Technology Connectios. I just really want those dudes to keep making stuff. A 2 hour documentary on the history and merits of the FastPass system at Disneyland or how a dishwasher works is soooooo my cup of tea.

The Samsung man will still sneak in your house at night and check your watch history. There is no escape.

Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure she needs a VCR. Her pool of victims is vanishingly small.

And service earns citizenship!

I seldom find myself disagreeing with anything that Robert Evans has to say.

will have to face their own constituents who ask “if Booker can do that for 25 hours, where the fuck were you when we needed you to fight back against this”

My call to Senator Bennett and Hickenlooper’s office the other day was essentially “why the fuck is Colorado not leading the way on this? You better get you ass in line to take his spot next”

Jesus Christ you gotta blur that shit

Okay hear me out…

I wouldn’t celebrate too soon. The precogs they’ve got writing stuff over at the Onion are rarely wrong, they’re just early.